Life Lately | July 2022

This morning it is 53º, but I couldn't stop myself. I just really wanted to sit outside. I also woke up a touch after 6am and noticed it wasn't yet light outside. I'm really trying to not get wistful, but it is the last day of July after all and isn't it always the best things that slink away so quickly? Anyway, I sat inside for a little while before armoring up with two blankets and going out. In happier news, I woke up somewhere around 4am and thought it was Monday, reassuring myself I could still sleep for an hour and a half. My more coherent self woke up quite cheerfully, knowing it is indeed Sunday that immediately follows Saturday. Cheers to that!

*edit: it is perhaps obvious, but this post began last week. I'm a slow writer. 

I think this week fully converted me to Ruggable, although I'm not above trying one of the more economical alternatives that I keep seeing pop up. We had a visitor dog for a few days, which was fine, except somebody (and with a party of three, the culprit is truly unknown) peed on my table leg, which I can deal with, but the surrounding rug underneath the table became unfixable. I could smell it for an hour and drove myself mad trying to find it, and once I did, went to town with the bleach and whatnot. I suspect it happened more than once though, because I'd think the matter was sorted out, only to smell something the next morning. After the third time, it became a FTS matter and I rolled up the rug myself, dragging it out to the trash. I'm done. 

I don't love buying rugs online, because inevitably it arrives and my first reaction is always "this is not what I wanted" but even so, I have a Ruggable in my living room and while it wasn't quite the color I thought I was ordering, it is so remarkably easy to clean, I let it stay. 

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Can I just share a picture with you that stops my heart? Speaking of good things slipping away, although I guess (hope!) that enjoying Duke's childhood is not slipping away, rather it is evolving into different versions of good things. 

These beach days though are just magnificent. Speaking of good things evolving, I'd say this is a nice example. Duke is a little beach baby, and we've been spending our summers traipsing around Benzie county since his very first outside the womb. The first several years were mostly spent on the sand where going to the beach mainly meant "going to the beach playground". I'd say last year he started to get brave going into the water, which faltered roughly around his knees. This year, with goggles firmly adjusted on his face, he's doing wild somersaults under water and most recently, jumping off the dock at Crystal Lake. Yesterday, he went out where the water was up around his neck and I became my own mother, frantically waving my arms and trying to shout above the waves "come back!" 

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Anyway...July. Everything feels like such a sprint. My job is busy and somehow there's always something that needs to be done after work. The summer is just slipping by and I am becoming increasingly anxious that this is not how I should be spending my life. Wishing constantly for summer, only to spend it gazing longingly out a window, you know? I guess we all must feel like that though, right? Thank God for long days and evenings that stretch for now. It's the only way to fit little pockets of summer into the dismal "grind" and I'm filling my pockets with ice cream and movies on the deck and as much beach as I can. 

I don't mean to be sour. I'm frankly anxious - that's what summer does to me. I love it so much, I become its clingy girlfriend, so afraid to lose it that I ruin everything good until it does leave. We'll rekindle next year- we always do, but I think, if I'm intent on continuing this cringy metaphor, I could have a healthier relationship if I just went somewhere that was warm all year. 

Someday. 

In the meantime, here's my photo essay titled "what I did this summer" - 

Enjoyed lots of guests. My Oma spent a few days with us last week and the nicest thing she said to me was "Jenn, I think you might be a good cook!" We shared books and a bottle of wine for three days before she deemed Northern Michigan too wet and too cold. 

Working, of course. My work setup, while nice enough, is boring. Ryan's work place is far more interesting to a certain 5-year old boy who regularly blasts donuts in his go-cart around dad's "office." 

Slowly working our way through the drawer full of sparklers and glo sticks I happily binged on earlier in the summer. 

Duke and I love to watch movies out on the deck and Matilda is a new favorite. 

I don't know where I got this kid, but he doesn't actually love ice cream. He likes it, but it makes his fingers sticky, which bothers him enough that he'll usually say "no." He's not averse to a sno-cone though and I don't know the difference, but I also don't mind. We both like anything blue, btw. 

Lake Michigan sunsets forever. 

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August now, and I can't calm my crazy, so my hands are clinging hard to summer's arm, nails digging in uncomfortably. I looooove you. Say it back. SAY IT BACK!