October 15, 2023

It's been a loooong weekend of so many "hey moms" and "mama!" and "mom, where'd you go?" when I locked myself in the bathroom for a 2 minute personal meltdown. 

Ryan was away for a couple days and it coincided with Duke's fall break and I think it was just a classic case of too much of a good thing just not being a good thing anymore. We were cooped up inside for about 48 hours and it was just.... a lot of talking. Ryan arrived home late Friday evening, and I escaped for some solo grocery shopping on Saturday. Grocery shopping has never felt so luxurious. I literally walked up and down every aisle at Meijer and savored the way absolutely nobody spoke to me. 

Because good can never just feel good, I started to feel guilty. Not, like, guilty enough to hurry home, but guilty enough to fill my cart with pretty much anything my family likes to eat. Anyway, the guilt is worthless anyway because I live with the most forgiving people in the world. I came home to a house deliciously warm with the first fire of the season burning away, and when we piled on the couch to watch a movie together, Duke perched up right next to me, leg slung over mine. I am a mother overstimulated - talked out, always being touched, and yet, someday this will be a memory.  Everything's a phase. 

***

You know what's interesting to me? How it's the hard part that I remember with the fondest memories. 

Several years ago, I was an Admissions Recruiter and the fall months were an absolute burning hell of "travel season." Every day, I'd get in my car at 5:30am and drive to Detroit, spend an entire day hopping from school to school, meeting with students, staring at their transcripts, and encouraging them to apply anyway. Then I'd stand behind a 6' table at a college fair that evening, chatting with their parents, and looking forward to whatever free dinner the host was providing afterwards. I'd usually hop in my car around 8pm, go home and fall into bed for a few hours. It wasn't great and if you're wondering why every college admissions representative is 23 years old, this is why. It's a job with an early expiration date. 

I lasted through two travel seasons, happily throwing in the towel just before my third. But when I think back to my time in Admissions, it is always the travel seasons I think of. And cheerfully! I met some real weirdos, shopped in some very interesting thrift stores, and occasionally saw some stunning October foliage. 

Memory is such a funny thing, the way she always arrives wearing her rose colored glasses. Women routinely give birth to second and third babies, as if the memory of deliveries previous just floated away. We pour a third or fourth glass of wine, always forgetting that the next day will come with a monster headache. I buy a cool Lego kit, forgetting that it will be me who puts it together, after much debate and arguing with Duke about doing it the right way (he's an expert supervisor). 

I'm not really saying anything new here. I'm just rehashing what I'm always writing about - phases and stages and knowing nothing is forever and to try to cherish even the hard parts because someday I won't remember them as so hard, after all. 

***

Shopping Break -

1 | 2 | 3 | 4 | 5 | 6 | 7

I am making a concerted effort to thrive through the winter, and that means buying outerwear that I am excited to wear. I bought this Eddie Bauer jacket and frankly "excited" is an understatement.

I am currently shopping for some "work" boots, which is different from what "work boots" traditionally refers to, because I mean warm, but dressy enough for the office. I am currently between these Kate Spade Baileys, or these Ugg McKays. 

Another boots contender via J Crew. 

Spooky plates! 

I'm afraid to buy a Stanley because I've seen Instagram, and I know. I'm also afraid that I'll like it, and I don't need to like another spendy thing. But... this color! 

Duke loves this slime shop and I'm thinking ahead to stocking stuffers. But the halloween slimes look so fun in the meantime!

I scooped up a few goodies from the Big Deal Prime days last week. My big purchase was a carpet cleaner vacuum, but I also got this rechargeable lamp that we already love. My favorite find was this Gingerbread Festival tea. It tastes like a Christmas cookie and I'm putting this purchase on subscription, it's soooo good. 

***

PS - More thoughts on phases - enduring and indulging. 

- I see the light. 

PPS - there are some affiliate links in here, but aren't they everywhere? If you click on a link, they'll throw me a couple pennies for our combined hardwork, so I guess click with caution.