Saturday, July 22, 2023

Listen, I do not believe in astrology. Like, at all. I like to read my horoscope and laugh at the generic absurdity of it, but that's really the extent of my identifying with being a Leo. But whatever the fuck needs to go into retrograde, please do it now. Either I have some bad karma to work through, or the planets really are misaligned, because fuck. What a week. Did anyone else have kind of a wild one? Misery loves company, and this girl loves to commiserate. If you tell me that you stomped out one fire, only to find another one right behind you, all freaking week long, I will be so satisfied. 

Someday, I'd like to dissect why I love that. Like if I'm having a rough day or week or whatever and someone else says "me too", why is my instant feeling relief? Oh good, I think. It's not just me. Maybe it means it's not personal, or maybe the planets do get fucked up, I don't know. Moving forward though, I'm putting last week to bed. Turning out the light and shutting the door behind me. Don't you dare ask for a glass of water, either. Go. To. Sleep. 

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My big goal for this week is to meal plan, which is probably the most boring goal, but after carefully reviewing my credit card bill - which I assumed was exorbitant this month after celebrating a bachelorette party and a 21st birthday, both of which had me throwing down my card like the big baller I am actually not - I realized it's not the shots. It's the 37 grocery store trips I make every week. I just need to grab some mangos, but I spent $70 so something else caught my eye, I guess. Do that four times a week and things add up. 

Relational to part one of the above paragraph, I suffered my first 2-day hangover last weekend and promptly decided that this lifestyle is no longer for me. A whole freaking weekend, lost to a hangover. What a waste. I don't really know what to do with this information, because frankly I do not think I am an excessive drinker and I'm not committing to never drinking again (although on Saturday, I sure was.) Maybe shots aren't my thing anymore? I can get behind that. 

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I'm also prowling around the internet for a good birthday cake recipe, for myself of course. I really delight in this, and on Monday, I'll be making my 38th grocery store trip to secure the ingredients. Right now I'm considering this key lime sheet cake thing, or the vastness of "chocolate cake" hits on Pinterest. Should I make both? Probably. 35 ain't nothing. 

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Last night I started watching The Bear. First, can I just point out that Carmy looks like Gene Wilder is at the very least his Dad? Don't you dare suggest they're not related somehow. Anyway, it's been on my watch-list for a minute but Duke was awake, so it only lasted about 10 minutes. I thought to myself, hm, that's a lot of "fucks" for my 7 year old to hear, so I'm filing that away with the rest of the shows I want to watch when he's not around. So maybe in 10 years or so? 

Open to all television recommendations that are not Bluey, but are also somewhat okay to watch with a child in the vicinity. 

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Shopping Break

A few things I bought this week -

Impress Press on Nails - a fun fact about me is that when I am intoxicated, I immediately chew off all of my finger nails like the feral human being that I am. This happened last weekend and I am still suffering for it. I bought these press ons to take me through the grow out period and I'm surprised! No nail glue needed, they have tabs of adhesive already applied and you literally just press those babies on. We're 5 days strong and I've only had to reapply one. For $6, I'm pleased. 

I picked up a 3-pack of sunscreen during Prime Days last week. The branding is very 90s nostalgic, which speaks to me as a person who was a child, but old enough to be coherent, during the 90s. It looks like everything my mom loved circa 1996. I had also heard that the scent was on point. Which it is. I think it's kind of spendy unless you get it on sale, which is to say I wouldn't buy it at full price, but for $10 a tube, that's basically paying the normal price for what is very much an elevated product. 

I've decided that the incoming 35 year old version of me is the kind of gal that collects fancy cookbooks, so I'm casually shopping around. Does she still google "how to cook chicken breasts" most nights? That remains to be seen, but the book stack on her kitchen counter looks very cultured. 

Speaking of books, I placed my birthday-gift-to-myself book order this morning. I landed on this Nora Ephron, this Curtis Sittenfeld, and this Anthony Bourdain. 

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It's my birthday weekend, so I'll be treating myself to everything I want for a few days. I'm nothing if not completely self-indulgent. See you Monday, probably 5lbs heavier and a few hundred dollars lighter. 

Cheers!