The Last 100 Days | September 23, 2003
Okay, just a thought - what if I kept all of my new years resolutions? I mean, of course we all have the good intentions to keep them, but what if I actually did? Could?
I think about this all the time, because I'm a dreamer, a list maker, and most especially both of those things in January. I believe the best about a new year, but lack the dedication to bring that baby to fruition. I was looking at my list of goals earlier this morning and I laughed out loud. I weigh more than I did in January, have roughly the same amount of money in savings, and have not written a single thing outside of this blog. So....those plans I had earlier this year are kind of a bust.
But what if I did keep my resolutions. Then what? I'd like to think I'd be basking in the joy of being a skinnier, wealthier, writer - and maybe I would be. IDK. Just something fun to think about.
I'm not giving up on 2023 yet, although I keep threatening to -- albeit very quietly, in my car, when my brain just goes into overdrive thinking about things without distractions. No, there's roughly 100 days left in this year, and so I'm going to to keep trying to meet those charming early January goals I set for myself. I thrive under deadline, so here we go.
Do you keep your resolutions?
I just read yesterday, "the best way to boost your self confidence is to do what you said you would do." That is sticking with me today.
***
Just some quick thoughts -
A stream of consciousness, because someone referred to this place as my "online diary" and I thought, you know, that's true. And with that, the permission to open my heart and let it bleed out. I positively wallow in early 2000s, Death Cab for Cutie style angst.
I'm really putting my trust in Duke to not change his mind, but Target has their halloween costumes on sale, so it felt like a good time to pull the trigger. In keeping with his three-years-long avengers theme, this October he'll be Black Panther. This follows up Captain America and Spiderman respectively.
I expect I'll wear my trusty witch hat and call it a day, to which Ryan will (jokingly?) ask why I'm just dressed up as myself. Har-har.
A couple weeks ago, I went for a botox consult and instead left with a punch hole in my nose and a stitch that looked like I had an eyelash stuck on my face all week. I'll write more about this another time, but suffice to say I'm being a little more diligent about my sunscreen application.
I just cannot get obsessed with a book lately. I'm currently in the midst of three (3!) and all of them feel like a boring slog. October is very nearly here and I'm about to throw in the towel and read Harry Potter, which has not disappointed since I first picked up Book 1 in the sixth grade.
This weekend is such a treat. I took a mental health day off work yesterday and, because I love to set expectations high and offer myself almost certain disappointment, I embarked on a day I called "Operation Best Day Ever." And honestly, it did not disappoint. I enjoyed the morning alone at home, doing chores and feeling productive, before picking up Duke from his half day at school. We spent our afternoon getting ice cream, going to the beach, scootering around at the skate park, and enjoying the surprise 80º weather. We ended our evening watching the sunset at Esch Beach, and having a little dance party back at Ryan's garage. It was a wonderful day, and now, we have the entire weekend ahead of us!
***
As previously mentioned, we are officially in our last 100 days of 2023, and I am feeling wonderfully motivated to grasp this year back from the brink of hell, and finally make it my own. Does it matter if 75% of the year was not what I wanted, if I managed to turn it around before the end? I think that's a subjective question/answer, but if it's me answering, then nope. Doesn't matter at all.
Duke and I talk often about his future and what it will look like, and my parenting playbook comes with a few key phrases that I repeat as if on tape. "Play stupid games, win stupid prizes" is oft said around here, along with "I don't like your feet where I eat" (as he is constantly climbing on my table) but in this case, I am forever telling him he can have anything that he's willing to go get himself.
I don't mean fruit snacks, although that's true too. I mean wishy things. He wants to be a billionaire when he grows up - fascinating to consider how things change, because my wildest dreams were always millionaire, so I guess inflation is everywhere, including our children's dreams - but my point to him is that he is welcome to become a billionaire, as long as he's willing to go get it. Do the work. Follow through.
Isn't that a wonderful thought? I can still dream of becoming a doctor, if I'm willing to go get it (I'm not). The world is open! The year is still young! I can have a successful 2023, if only I am willing to fetch it (I am).
PS -
Shaken and stirred to stop complaining.
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